u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
