At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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