I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize