I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
