garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
