Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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