i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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