So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
