I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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