dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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