Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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