I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The air was thick with penises
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
