so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
