Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
