whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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