someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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