i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i love accidental penises.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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