even my farts smell like vagina
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
