absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
