I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
