i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize