Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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