idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
