I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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