I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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