I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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