Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize