His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
