I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
