dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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