you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
