Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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