So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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