Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
