our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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