Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
this just has baby written all over it
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
