pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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