I need help removing her.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
