The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
