i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
