I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
