is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
