Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
