weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
