It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize