Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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