Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
