Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
