i already hear my dad disowning me
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize