i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
