Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
wow bdsm is so cute
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
