She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My breasts were aching with rage.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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