would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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