Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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