Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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