another moral hangover. fuck.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
