Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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