Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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