oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize