So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
