he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
