you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
