You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
it glows. i had to have it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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