So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
