Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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