To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
