i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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