That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
