You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I had to cum in my sink.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize