I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
