new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
