What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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