hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is wine microwaveable?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize