The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
