Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I can't turn off my feet"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
