I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize