Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
