Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
